Messed Up Relationship? 10 Things To Do When You Screw Up

Best Date
5 min readFeb 2, 2021

All of us have a story of screwing up. Take me, for example. I think I will hardly recollect all cases when I asked for a second chance. We screw up jobs, home repairs, major appliances, relationships, etc. By looking back, you can tell what worked best for you when you messed up relationships. If you are like me, you will pay attention to the following recommendations on what steps you need to take when you screw up.

What to do when you screw up

Apologize

Saying sorry is the hardest thing to do. When it comes to committing a screw-up of any magnitude, you should apologize immediately. You might need to eat a piece of a humble pie, but that’s the price you pay for being imperfect.

By apologizing for your mistakes, you will respect the person who is very special to you. When you screw up, the first thing you need to do is say that you are sorry for doing something wrong.

Obviously, there are some major problems like cheating. But it’s not the end of the world. Here is the nice article: Is cheating the end of a relationship?

Be Ready for Changes

“If someone can prove me wrong and show me my mistake in any thought or action, I shall gladly change. I seek the truth, which never harmed anyone: the harm is to persist in one’s own self-deception and ignorance.”

Sometimes we make the same mistakes. We rely on people who are untrustworthy and make wrong investments. If you feel unhappy with other people, it’s time to make some changes in your life. If you made a mistake, acknowledge it. Learn from it and keep moving further.

Take a Step Back and Get Some Perspective

One of the most important things to do when you screw up is to take a step back and check on the situation. Hopefully, the condition wasn’t dire and you can logically evaluate what you’ve done. If it’s easy to fix, that’s something you can be grateful for. You can solve the problem for as long as it has some effect on the person you care about.

Don’t Be Afraid To Screw Up

The day you stop trying, you stop making mistakes and stop growing. So, whenever you make a mistake, take a chance and find a solution. It’s not the end of the world. If you find the right words to say, you will find a solution and settle everything down.

“Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes the furthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare.”

– Dale Carnegie

Make a Plan

We all make mistakes. The truth is that screwing up is inevitable when you are in a relationship, spend time with friends, etc. However, we need to ensure the same things won’t happen again by creating a plan.

To get started, analyze what went wrong. It will help you decide what you can do to prevent it from occurring ever again in the future. It’s always a good idea to learn from our mistakes. Learn something, remember it, put something into place, and only after that — make a concerted effort.

After your plan is ready, go to the person whom you offended and tell them you are doing everything you can to prevent it from happening ever again, and then let the chips fall where they may. It’s human nature to make mistakes. However, what makes you a better person is how you recover from them and ensure that you won’t hurt people like that again.

Forgive Those Who Made You Feel This Way

You will be surprised to find out those people who made you feel this way were also screw-ups, just like you. And because they didn’t know they hurt you, they do not feel sorry for the way it turned out. And neither are you. It’s called empathy. Forgive them, forgive yourself, and stop transferring your anger by acting out on other people who matter in your life.

Take a Break

One of the best things you can do to yourself is to get yourself out of the environment where you made a mistake or abused someone. Staying in that place and blaming yourself for your mistake is the last thing you can do. Instead of losing focus, get yourself out of that place. Get out of your office, house, or wherever, and go for a walk. Take about 15 minutes to gather your energy and make your plan.

Don’t Go Beating Yourself Up

Practice a bit of self-compassion following the moment of guilt and sadness. We are all human beings, it’s OKAY to mess up. Stop beating yourself up. Don’t let your mistake affect your mental health and your ability to be yourself in the environment of your friends, colleagues, and family. The vast majority of people who surround you are ready to come for help and allow you to apologize sincerely. Try to calm down and remember it’s not the end of the world. You can always fix your mistakes unless you want to do it.

Realize You Didn’t Screw up When It Counted

Look back and analyze what you’ve done. If you screw up so many times and your beloved person is still with you, then everything may not be as bad as you think. It means that you probably didn’t screw up when it counted. Despite everything that you did to people that surround you, there is still something inside you that they love.

Though, there some opposite situations. Here is the nice article: What to do when you just got dumped by your girlfriend.

Make The Best Of The Situation

Good things may come from mistakes. Think of the Tower of Pisa. The time when it was being constructed, it wasn’t meant to be crooked. Now, it’s one of the biggest attractions for tourists who come from all around the world.

Sir Alexander Fleming made a mistake that brought penicillin to the world. As a result, the drug saved millions of lives. So, whenever you make a mistake, it can result in the opportunity that you didn’t expect. It’s all for the best.

If you exhausted all the options you can look for new relationships with a clear conscience. Make sure to check this useful post: How to Find a Girlfriend in 2021.

In Conclusion

Life is full of surprises. The people who surround you can also be surprisingly forgiving of screw-ups. All of us have had many stories of screwing up. It’s also a common thing for couples because everything can happen when you are in relationships.

We can screw up jobs, relationships, home repairs, investments, etc. However, no matter how many times you mess up relationships, you are still alive and you can fix any situation for as long as you want it.

Different people have different approaches to getting out of the most complicated situations. I have listed what works for me. The 10 tips that I described above have proven to be the most useful in different occasions and situations. And what about you? Do you feel the same or you have a different strategy of what steps should be taken when you screw up. We would appreciate it if you share your thoughts and ideas with us below.

And remember, there is always a way.

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